So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
