I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
