babies were throwing up all over the place
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
