So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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