I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
