After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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