Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
