everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
