Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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