Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
