is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
