I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
