I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
