I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
