Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
