doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
