Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
