And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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