Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize