I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Panties = found
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