Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Found the puke drawer
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
