HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
