You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just want nice things and good sex
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize