No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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