This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
