Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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