Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
