I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
