She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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