she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
