I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
