i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
