My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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