why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
