Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
