i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
