The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
