I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
