He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize