I smell stomach acid.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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