omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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