Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
