im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
