His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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