So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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