i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
