Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
