you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
