remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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