i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize