Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
