covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
