When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
