Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
