We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
