So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
