Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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