dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
not ubering you a puppy
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
