It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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