i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
