OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
