Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
