I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
