my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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