I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
