after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize