angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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