smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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