I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
