Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
