and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize