so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
