i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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