party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
