so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
