and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
