I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
