Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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