I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
as a side note pls kill me
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
