I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize