I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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