So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
